.png)
Emotions Untapped
Welcome to the Emotions Untapped podcast, the show where we uncover all the information you need to better understand, use and manage your emotions in a positive way. When we understand our thoughts feelings and emotions we not only become more familiar with ourselves but also can foster healthier relationships with others. If you're aim is to relieve stress, communicate effectively and defuse conflict, empathise with others, overcome challenges and overall just have more meaningful relationships, then you've come to the right place. If you are searching for direction and more fulfillment in your life then the Emotions Untapped podcast was made for you. Each week we sit souind with therapists, experts, thought leaders, healers and so many more to bring you the tools and insights you need to start living a more emotionally intelligent life now.
Emotions Untapped
#010 Building Strong Family Bonds Through Play
What if play could unlock the door to a more emotionally intelligent family life? Join us as we sit down with Laura Haver, a play expert, author, and former professional athlete, who reveals the transformative power of play in her book "Play Together:Games & Activities for the Whole Family to Boost Creativity, Connection & Mindfulness." Laura shares her comprehensive insights on how structured play not only brings families closer but also serves as a fertile ground for learning crucial life skills like empathy, self-regulation, and assertiveness. From practical tips to fun activities, this episode is a treasure trove of ideas for parents eager to boost their family's emotional well-being.
In our conversation, we also focus on the significance of emotional intelligence (EQ) and how to instill it in both children and adults. Through empowering stories, such as Laura's son using breathing techniques to calm his nerves during a community event, we illustrate the profound impact of teaching EQ skills early. Laura emphasizes the importance of dedicated playtime in her book "Play Together," highlighting how simple games can foster deeper connections and face-to-face interactions. Our discussion sheds light on the joy of creativity and the remarkable benefits that come from mindful, playful engagement within the family.
Lastly, the episode delves into the necessity of fostering independence and decision-making in children. We discuss strategies for meaningful conversations, encouraging kids to think independently, and promoting emotional regulation through calm dialogue. Laura shares personal anecdotes showcasing the growth that occurs when parents step back and let their children lead, creating a supportive environment where kids feel empowered. Listen to discover how fun and play can serve as powerful tools in nurturing a mindful and emotionally intelligent family dynamic.
We love to hear from you! Please send us your feedback and questions via the text link at the top of the show notes, or DM us on Instagram
You can connect with our community, connect with us on social media and find valuable (FREE) resources on our website www.eqnation.org
play together is about bringing families and friends together, really that the together part of the play. So those are two of my favorite things. Actually, I never really thought about it so much, but those I love. Play, that's what I'm super dedicated to and my passion and my expertise. But then, together in the happiness research, the number one factor for your overall well-being is your connection with other people. And how do you build that? You build that by being together, by playing together, by spending time together, and so the book is basically created to give families and friends different games they can play.
Speaker 1:So if they're like, what should we do? You know, they can just flip through it and pull something out. We can't control what happens, but we can control the story we make up about it. We can control our reactions. Yeah, well, you know life is busy. There's a million things going on. There's so many fun things we have access to, like every piece of information at our fingertips, and there's a lot of choice that we have. And so environmental design and what we have going on in our regular habits, our regular day, our structure of our day, makes a huge difference. So when we were playing a game, I had to post the game each day, monday through Friday. It gave me this structure. Okay, that's what we're gonna do, this we're gonna do, and so I'm not suggesting you create your own game every day. But for people listening, you know, whether or not you use my book is just making a time of day of, like connection time or play time, right? So you want to look at your schedule and think when does that fit in?
Speaker 1:Most naturally, in these scenarios of these games, they're not these important things in life, they're just silly forks. If it falls down, fine, there's no real repercussions. You know, maybe you get hit with a book, whatever you know. But that's important because then they can test it out in these smaller, safer venues so that as they grow up and they go through more challenging bits, they have tested it, they've learned how to assert themselves in a way where they honor the people around them. And if they don't, then they learn oh, that didn't work out so well, you know, I need to apologize to them, or how can I, you know, make it all work when you do something that's so fun, you just want to do it, you just want to keep going. So it's like how can we teach these important skills to ourselves and to our children, to our employees, you know, to important people. In a way, that's fun, that we want to keep going.
Speaker 2:Welcome to the Emotions Untapped podcast. I'm your host, livia Lauder. This is the show where we explore the power of emotional intelligence in our personal and professional lives In this community. We dive into conversations with experts and thought leaders from a variety of fields to gain insights, strategies and tools for cultivating emotional intelligence or EQ for short. It gives me so much joy to create this show for you, to bring value and resources to you on your journey. I love your support in helping us create an even bigger impact. Just leave a five-star review and share this episode with a friend so we can continue to help others improve their lives by improving their emotional health. Now hit that subscribe button and let's dive in.
Speaker 2:Laura Haver is the star of the show today. Laura is a play expert, author, speaker, coach, mom and former pro athlete. She's helped thousands of people to experience more fun, fulfillment and joy in their lives. Laura has been featured on the Today Show, cbs, fox, parents, shape and more, and is the author of Play Together games and activities for the whole family to boost creativity, connection and mindfulness. This is such a fantastic conversation for anyone with kids in their life.
Speaker 2:We dive into fun and playful ways to cultivate mindfulness, presence and self-awareness in our children through games. If you're interested in learning how to create more genuine connection and togetherness in your family unit, then get excited, because this episode has all the tools and strategies for doing just that right away. Regardless of how old your kids are, you can start to lead by example and show kids the importance of staying calm, being mindful leaders and using EQ tools to help them self-regulate, express empathy and show kindness to others. Let's dive in. Thank you so much, Laura, for coming to have a chat on the show. I'm really excited to talk to you about your book Play Together. It's such a great tool for families to use and I'm excited to dive into this a little bit deeper here and share what it actually is and how it can support families, parents and children to become more emotionally intelligent.
Speaker 1:Well, thank you so much. What a pleasure to be here. I love talking about this stuff and for everyone listening, like I love that you guys are here and that you're interested in how you can boost your own EQ and your for your family and for yourself. It's just, I don't know. I find that all the all of it's so fascinating and super useful. Like I didn't, you know, learn this stuff clearly as such a young child and now doing it with my kids, like it's amazing to hear how they're using it.
Speaker 1:And you know, I was even talking to my son about it today and you know he was just telling me what he was using with some like breathing, yesterday when he was nervous. He was in this fitness club awards and he was nervous, he didn't know which award he was going to get or not. And you know, and he was telling me how he was using some of the tools. And I'm like it's just so cool to be able to equip ourselves and the people that are important to us in our lives with these tools. So I'm happy to share about it and make it share it about in a playful way where people want to do it. It's not just more work or more things on their list.
Speaker 2:Right, it's less of like oh, a chore of something I have to do, something I have to accomplish, and more of like, oh, let's incorporate this into what I'm already doing and like make it joyful and make it fun and exciting yeah, for sure, awesome. I love that. That's so cool. And like how great too, to you know, because this is one of the things that lights me up is like seeing other people you know grow and learn things and understand and have these epiphanies and like become better versions of themselves. So I imagine you know just then, as you described, like having that experience with your son, like it's so cool to be, you know, giving them these tools and practicing these techniques with them. And then they come back to you and go, oh, this happened at school today.
Speaker 1:like that must just absolutely fill your heart yeah, because I was there for the award ceremony and like I was not far from him and it's just cute because I didn't, you know, I didn't know, I just see him sitting there watching, I didn't know. He was like practicing some of the things and he was like I did, I did breathing because I wanted to pay attention to what they were saying. I wanted to be present, but I also wanted to make sure, you know, like calming himself down, that's cool, and he is like a little Rolodex Okay, that's aging myself, right Like all these little things he can choose from right it's toolbox. We can use that one, that one, no, that one, no, this one, you know.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's great. So, Laura, I'd love to start off with having you share in your own words what the Play Together book is all about.
Speaker 1:Well, play Together is about bringing families and friends together, really that, the together part of the play. So those are two of my favorite things. Actually, I never really thought about it so much, but those I love play. That's what I'm super dedicated to and my passion and my expertise. But then, together in the happiness research, the number one factor for your overall well being is your connection with other people.
Speaker 1:And how do you build that? You build that by being together, by playing together, by spending time together, and so the book is basically created to give families and friends different games they can play. So if they're like, what should we do? You know they can just flip through it and pull something out, cause you know, sometimes when you have that free time especially I don't know about you, but like, for me as like a busy parent I remember back when my husband and I would finally get time together, we'd be like yeah, we don't, we haven't had this time, you know.
Speaker 1:So if you're in that experience, like with your kids too, if, like, if people are used to being in lots of activities all of a sudden you're like what should we do? You could just grab this and just flip through it and be like oh okay, what do we got here? Recreate your favorite game. So this one we made up I'm just for anyone listening, I'm looking, flipping through my book, just ran them open to a page and it was you know. You know how kids love video games and that's great. But we want to get them in face-to-face communication too. So it was like this one where we made up recreate your video game off screen.
Speaker 1:You know, so we ended up making this obstacle course through the house and we created, like I don't know, some Sonic, some Sonic the Hedgehog game, you know, and we can recreate your favorite book. Or you can take things you know, find things that your family, or especially your kids, are interested in, especially if you're trying to make the shift from digital to in person. Find something that they like and try to recreate it or bring it to life in a 3D real way, and so this gives you something new to do right. Doing novel things together is really great for people of all ages, especially for us as adults. We get older, doing new things, you know, forming new processes and new connections in our brain and just giving you something different, so it's not just like let's do the same thing all the time you know I love that, and so where did the idea for the book itself come from?
Speaker 2:And then I guess, kind of to take it one step further, how did it actually transpire into, you know, a hard copy like an actual? Thing, that you created. I'd love to know a bit of the background on it. Yeah, well, it was.
Speaker 1:Friday, the 13th, at my kid's school they were doing this performance and you know, it's this amazing, like improv, acting, creative stories, like my niece's story won this award and it was being she was getting acted out on stage and it was just this amazing, creative, happy moment. And then the assembly ended. We're filing out and that's when we found out we're closing for the COVID lockdown and my heart was just really felt for all these families, just all at home. Suddenly you went from all these activities and we were just we're home. So. So I just was like what can I do? And I just dug into my own mindfulness tools, like you know, what can I do? I meditated, prayed, I thought of all the things and the next morning I woke up with this idea to start this challenge. I called it we Write the Story 2020. And it was about we don't. We can't control what happens, but we can control the story we make up about it. We can control our reaction.
Speaker 1:So I started posting a new game each day with my boys to inspire family and stuff at home, and we just started making up games. Honestly, I had no idea it was going to be a book. It was just something to do to help other people and it was such a gift to us. And now that it's been out in a hardcover book or not, you know, in an actual book, it's like inspiring families around the world and it's so cool to hear these stories. It just started out, this pure inspiration and this pure service that, seriously, even during the pandemic, it made me get dressed enough to like take a video of myself to show it, so like that alone was worth it. So I was showing up for myself, you know, and for my kids doing something each day. And now, you know, people are playing these games and it just it took on a life of its own, really.
Speaker 2:That's beautiful, like such a profound impact from something that you know that necessarily wasn't the intention at the beginning. It was actually really just about you and your family and then it just grew to something that now you know is a part of so many families lives. Like that's so cool, like, oh, I love that. Like I could just feel like the energy of just like your accomplishment and excitement around it all and seeing it all come together and seeing it impact people. Like that's such a great thing to experience.
Speaker 1:Yeah, thanks. And it's so cool for the boys because they were part of it, right. Like, yeah, thanks. And it's so cool for the boys because they were part of it, right. Like they would wake up like one of the games called hidden picture cards, and one morning my oldest son woke up and he was just making a card for his cousin. You know those pictures where it'd be like find the broom, find the soccer ball, and they're like hidden, and he was doing it. That's so clever, let's make that a game for today, you know.
Speaker 1:So they were totally a part of it, right, and that's an act of kindness, right, which was part of connection, which also boosts your overall wellbeing. So if we take the shift off of ourselves sometimes and teach ourselves and others to do acts of kindness, of service, of giving, just like what the whole premise of my book really was, you know, it's just, it has these beautiful circles, and so it's just ways that we can find playful ways. It's not like go do something nice, you know, because that sounds like work, but if it's like, oh, that's fun, you know.
Speaker 1:It's just an organic collection of games and activities that were created over time with us, and then we started partnering with really cool people you know, close and far. You know around the world, we even have collaborators, and it just you know it far, you know we. You know around the world, we even have collaborators, and it just it, it, you know. It took on a life of its own beautiful.
Speaker 2:So in so in the book you've got 62 games, I believe, um, and they're all kind of categorized into connection, mindfulness, creativity and kindness.
Speaker 2:We've got things in there like playing with chalk, writing a story, catching bugs, dress-ups, dance parties, which I love that's like one of my favorite things cardboard creations, which is super fun, rainbow breathing you kind of mentioned as well that your son was doing that at his um assembly. Kindness, jar smile contest, like there's so many different things in there, and at the end of each one, what I love, as I was flipping through and exploring like what is actually in this book and what these games are, is that you have conversation starters at the end of each. So it's not just about, hey, let's get together and do this game, it's actually about, you know, breaking it down afterwards and continuing the conversation, and that in itself is also bringing like connection and togetherness. I love that concept. Was that something that you kind of thought of in the beginning or something that you were already doing with your family that then became part of the book? Or was it kind of something that you thought, hey, we'll throw this in like along the journey?
Speaker 1:Well, that's a great question. You know, I think because of who I am, is just such a coach. It's just part of my asking questions is part of my nature. You know, I spent time as I coached kids tennis and actually adults tennis for decades, Like when I was in high school I started coaching kids, and the best way to teach people my experience is to ask questions. You know, even if I know the answer, if you ask it in a question form, it gets the learner engaged, it gets them thinking, it gets them. You know they're responsible for it too. It's not just me telling them what to do. So part of it was one to create this experience. It's not just let's do the thing and let's be done with it and get on the next thing.
Speaker 2:It's like this is an experience.
Speaker 1:This is a container for connection. How can we explore that is a container for connection? Well, how can we explore that? How can we expand that? And you know, how can we make time? How can we make time stand still in these moments of flow and you're like, oh, what did you like better, what did you think about that? Or what did you notice for yourself? Or you know, what did you learn?
Speaker 1:Or some of the games are like talk to your parents about what they used to love as a kid. Or you know your grandparents. Sometimes it's like you think, oh, that's my grandpa, you know. But then you get your grandpa talking about how, when he was a kid, like my dad, he used to roam the neighborhood and go play baseball in weird places and find sticks to play with as baseball bats, and you know, and suddenly the kids can be relating to them in a different way where you get the real humanness, and so that is just part of who I am as a coach, and that's what I do for my clients now, too, is I just ask the question.
Speaker 1:I get them thinking, you know, like my favorite question to ask my kids is when they ask me a question, my answer is what do you think? The first thing I ask them is what do they think, so then they can answer first, and then I hear where they're coming from, and then I can, you know, put them around. So it's basically like, you know, when you ask people questions and asking good questions is definitely a skill as well you know you don't get these short answers, or how was school? Fine, you know it's like okay, what other questions can we ask and how can we explore things? It's another version of play for me.
Speaker 2:Great and I love that and I love how you know just hearing you explain all that and kind of break that down. The thought just dropped in of you know someone. Then using this book as a tool and playing these games and having these conversations after is actually going to help the parents as well understand what kind of questions get the kids thinking and how to really cultivate, like, their awareness. So, yes, we're asking questions about the activity that just happened, but it really is. There's some kind of like underlying lessons in there for the adults as well, isn't there? Like, ok, this is kind of how we can get our kids really talking and thinking about things as well.
Speaker 1:Right, and asking when you ask the questions is such an important feature. No-transcript, use those regulation skills and then later come back. Or, if you need to do it, then you simply ask right, like for an adult especially, or even an older child, say, hey, are you open to having a conversation about this right now or do you just need me to listen? Because sometimes a lot of you know, I see people trying to coach I'm doing air quotes, like quote, you know coaching someone when they're not open for coaching because they're so dysregulated, they're just like, or they're in the fight flight, you know like. So it's being clear and cognizant of when to move in with the questions for coaching and you know when to build those skills.
Speaker 1:I remember I was speaking at this summit about emotional regulation and one of the things that I make, you know, one of my main points I was sharing with the parents and the teachers was you have to do the coaching when there are moments of calm.
Speaker 1:You can't do it in the upset and so if we, that's why I love, that's why I love these questions in the book, because when you're playing in these moments of calm, you're modeling it, you're preparing them for those crazy moments, and you can even pretend to get to those moments, be like oh my gosh, imagine you're now, imagine you're rattled, you know. And then what would you say like these are all lines of questions you can use when you start from, from the calm or the neutral, and it's a learning curve. Obviously we all make mistakes here and there, and then that's another opportunity to tell the other person oh my gosh, I realized I was going back to that thing that I did when I was a kid and I, you know like we can own up when we mess up and showing our kids and our friends and our families, we mess up and we can take responsibility for that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, absolutely that's a really important thing to note. I like that a lot. That's good. One thing that really that I loved and it really stuck out to me was you really emphasize letting kids you know when it comes to like the gameplay itself, you really emphasize letting them take it in whichever direction they want, so allowing, I guess, the parents then to practice kind of giving up control a little bit and letting the kids lead. And I'm just curious on your perspective on that. Like how important is that really to both the parents and the kids?
Speaker 1:Very important. I mean, I was. I was so thankful that my editor let me say that as many times as I did in the book right, let the kids lead. I must have wrote it, you know, so many times, but it's really important because when kids are going through their life, there's so many things that they don't have control over, they don't have choice. So in the field of play and these games and activities where it is really open, it's a great opportunity for us to give them a chance to be independent, give them a chance to be a leader and to take it in a different way than maybe what we think it might go right.
Speaker 1:For example, early on in one of the games was 3D paper bouquets or flower bouquets. We were making bouquets out of paper. We were making them 3D, right, and I was like, oh, let's make these kela lilies. And I was like looking it up on Pinterest for all these fancy things. And both my boys were like well, and you know my, my older son. He ended up making this cool different type of 3d flower. And then my younger son ended up just like drawing a picture of him, like hugging his grandma, and at first I was like we're making 3d calla lilies. And then I was like, oh Laura, we're just hanging out doing something for others, we're sending them something.
Speaker 1:The paper flower bouquet was a connection and right you know, that was sort of like an act of kindness or something to give. Okay, take a step back. What are we trying to accomplish here? They don't have to do it the way I want them to do it, you know. So it's a moment of growth as the person is the parent, or you know, let them lead. It's a moment of growth as the person, as the parent, or you know, let them lead. It's not that important. They need opportunities to assert themselves and try things out.
Speaker 1:And then it was great. I mean, who doesn't want to send a hug with a bouquet, with the other flowers, you know? And so, time and time again, that was maybe like our fourth game we did of the whole challenge was very early on. That was great, a great lesson. And then they just took the games wherever they would want them to go, and that's how they span their creativity and it helps me to be like, yes, I can give them the range to go around and do things on their own, which reminds me of another one that I want to share about, because right now it's been really popular in the news. It's the Let Grow Foundation, and they have a challenge every year it's coming up this August where you do the Let Grow Challenge, to let your kids do something new on their own independently. So I partnered with them to share this game and it's like you said, it's really important for us parents to be okay with letting your kids do new things.
Speaker 1:In fact, I'm writing an article for them right now and you know, sometimes it's easier for the kids to do it than it is for us to be like here you guys go ahead and do this new thing, and so it's important for us to teach them the skills and the foundation, and then also for us to step back and be okay with that. You know, let them lead, because they need to take on these skills. We can, we don't.
Speaker 2:We want them to grow into their own people yeah, absolutely, and I feel like I mean I I don't have kids, but just based on you know, I have nieces and nephews and I have friends with kids. So like I do observe a lot and I do, I do take that in. But just hearing you talk about all that too, I mean it really comes down to decision making, right, like if they're given the opportunity to just like go in any direction that they want and not necessarily follow the rules, so to speak, as I do air quotes of the game. You know, developing their leadership skills is also becoming strong decision makers, which is a huge part of emotional intelligence. So I think that's a really great thing to incorporate and I love that you put it in the book, like so many times.
Speaker 2:You know to let that be and, like you said, your publisher, like let you have that, because we need to hear these things over and over to kind of like let it sink in. And then I'm wondering, too, right, like just hearing you talk about you know, sometimes it's almost it's it's more of a challenge for the parents to like off and let the kids go in that direction. Would you say that's also something that just develops somewhat naturally as kids get older, because then they are gaining more independence, naturally, and they're able to make more decisions as they get older as opposed to a two-year-old. You're probably not going to let them make that many decisions, right Like it's, and I imagine that that would be a difficult kind of transition for a parent to make. As the children grow, simultaneously, the parents are growing as well.
Speaker 1:Yeah, definitely. I mean, of course, as you go on, the things that you can do on your own become bigger and it becomes some things become more natural because other kids are doing it in the neighborhood, so it becomes more socially accepted. I think a lot of the challenge is the social acceptance. If you are like I want to let my kids do something that I know is safe for them, but most other people don't let them do out of fear, that's the harder bit for parents and so you know, like if you're like, oh, you live in a neighborhood where kids aren't running around playing, you're like, oh, I shouldn't let them run around playing, but you know it's safe.
Speaker 1:You know they know you teach them the skills. It's not like you throw them out there. You know, oh, you go ahead, you try riding your bike to the store by yourself Right now. You're like I know, you know how to ride your bike We've talked about this thing Like you give them the skills and then you let them do it, but then that gives them the confidence. So the earlier you can do it for smaller, safer, easier tasks, the more they get comfortable. They don't turn to you first, they turn to themselves, right?
Speaker 1:So, even if you're not a parent, if you're someone who's like, okay, how can I take this out for myself? Like leaning into yourself, like there's so much out there now with all these like experts and gurus and people are like looking to other people for the answers. But the same I would say to everybody what do you think, right? Like going in for yourself, seeing what you think and then, if you need, oh well, you know what? I don't know that much about this one thing maybe I'm going to research it. Maybe I need to find that. You know, and it's always like. I always love reading and learning, I'm always going to be getting new ideas. But it's important to also check in with ourselves in terms of what do we want, what resonates with me, because what works for you, know, like for you and I, might not work for other people and vice versa.
Speaker 2:So it's important that that self reflection, that self awareness, part of emotional intelligence, is really big, and especially if you're a parent being self aware like, oh, I'm really scared to let them do that on their own, but that shouldn't mean I should stop them from doing it yeah, because then sometimes, like I actually experienced this with my niece so my niece she's not that much younger than I and she's got two little ones and she had an experience when she was a kid with some ice their dog went through the ice on the river and now she has this like really like scary fear around. You know, when the lakes are frozen and the rivers are frozen, that, like you know, we do not go on the ice and I mean there's obviously a safe level of of ice and when you can walk out and and drive out and etc. Etc. She does not want her kids to go out on the ice and go ice fishing, um, which is something I'd love, you know. I'd love, you know, auntie Liv, I'd love to take them out and show them ice fishing, because it's something that I love to do and she is very adamant that that is not going to happen yet.
Speaker 2:I mean, they are still young, but it's you know, I've heard her say some things in front of the kids around. You know the ice and how it's dangerous and so like that can happen too, can't it? Where you know, as parent, maybe you have an experience around. Something might be scary or fearful or how you know you crashed on your bike and so now that's a scary thing and you're like reluctant to let your kids go and have that experience because, like you hold your own trauma and then that can be kind of like passed down onto them without you even really knowing, or not knowing the awareness around it Right.
Speaker 1:And then that goes across generations. You know it's like this happened with your parents and they were this and that, and then you get it and it just keeps going. And so that's where I just love emotional intelligence, because we can notice that Once we notice it, we have a choice and then we can do our own work right. That's part of what I do with my clients, as well as these like energetic clearings and ways of releasing these trapped emotions that are stuck in our body, whether we know them or not, because oftentimes they're subconscious. We don't realize that. That's why we're doing it. So it's ways of noticing, like if you run up against the same challenge over and over and you're like I don't get it, why do I keep doing that? I know that's not what I should do. Oftentimes there's this what I call blind spot or some, something that you're just butting up against, and so that's why I love helping people clear those so that they can move forward with more ease, yeah, and especially when the things keep coming up like the patterns it's.
Speaker 2:I love the blind spot terminology. That's great, you know, having that awareness to be like, okay, this keeps happening. Let's dive a little deeper on that and see, like, what is the pattern here, what is the lesson supposed to be and how can I kind of get to the root of it? Yeah, love that.
Speaker 1:And that's where I love you know, meditation and mindfulness, because it just gives you access to noticing noticing your thoughts, noticing your emotions like it's important to notice your emotions, but it's also important to notice that not all emotions are going to be valid you might feel them very strongly, but they might be your nervous system kicked off from something that happened, you know, years and years ago, or something that happened in past generations in your family, and you're just still reliving this bit and so being aware of it and being like, oh, that's my feeling, is that valid? Is that true? You know there's, you know, using your tools, you know. That's again why I like doing this for kids, because I noticed myself like if I would get let's call it activated by something, I'd be like, okay, I might pause, like put my hand on my heart, slow my breathing, but I was doing it for so long and I realized I wasn't telling my kids that I was doing it. And I'm like that's a big missing, because they need to know, like, why is mom able to stay so calm and neutral and, you know, help, you know be a calming force in the family? It's because I'm using all these skills. I need to teach them that. So then I'm like, how many times can you tell your kids to take a breath? That gets old after a while. Mom, I'm not gonna take it. So that's when I was like okay, what other games can I create? What other playful ways can I make up where they'll just get into it, right.
Speaker 1:So that's where the hand flip game came in. One day, my one, we were doing homeschooling and my one son was getting like, oh my gosh, like something was hard for him. I realized it. So I'm like, okay, you know that game, hand flip where like one person puts their hands out, the other person like hovers in on top and then the bottom person tries to like hit the top person's hand. So I was like, oh, let's play this game. I don't tell him what I'm doing and I just stand, stand there, instead of going right away, I just pause, mad at faith sitting there waiting for me. It's so present because he's watching to see if I'm going to pull my hand Right.
Speaker 1:So that's a game that it's just like to take the moment, to take the space that you can speed it up or you can slow it down. And you know so it's just a collection of games where they're like, oh, I'm just trying to hit the hands or whatever. You know, they don't realize it. And that's part of where the conversation starters come in as well. Hey, what did you notice? You know, because that's the way that you can, kind of not sneakily, because you're not trying to pull one over on them, but you can reinforce some of the lessons that are built into the game.
Speaker 2:I love that it's so integrated with it. Yeah, Like you say, like it's, it's it's being sneaky, but, but not like it's not being sneaky, but it's. It's just a great way to teach. I love that so much. We'll be right back after a quick break. I hope you're loving the show.
Speaker 2:So far, this podcast is all about bringing value to the collective. You're here because you're looking to gain insights, strategies and tools for cultivating your emotional intelligence. Join our community online, where we share even more valuable resources to help you grow and thrive. Links in the show notes. And hey, we love hearing from you. Share this episode in your stories and tag us at emotionsuntapped. Let us know what your biggest takeaway is from today's show. All right, let's get back to it. And you mentioned something that actually segues into my next question, which was just about presence. You know, and I just love to highlight the importance of being present with your kids, because in our prior conversation before we started recording, that was something that came up where a huge part of the book and, as you explained earlier, about how it transpired through COVID and stuff it was about spending time together and being present together. So, yeah, I'd love to just kind of hear your perspective on the importance of being present with your kids, and you know how we get to do that in fun ways.
Speaker 1:Yeah, well, it's a great question and, honestly, like my heart is just going and I have like chills, because I think being present is one of the best gifts we can give ourselves and we can give others in our life. We've all been with people. When we're there with them in the moment and they're looking at us in the eye and they're smiling at us, they're being with us. And then we've all been there in the moment when someone's like rolling their phone, looking over their shoulder, checking their watch, and you can feel the difference and it's okay to have times of that. We obviously have things we need to do and take care of, but we're not going to be 100 present with all the people in our lives all the time, but the fact that we make intentional effort or intentional time to say I'm putting that stuff away and I'm being with you guys, you know I'm going to sit down on the floor with you or I'm going to, you know, get on your level and you know.
Speaker 1:Same thing with our friends and it doesn't matter which relationship and even with ourselves, right, not being so busy doing stuff all the time, where we can slow down and we can savor the moment, we can look out the window and say, oh, wow, the grass really got green today compared to yesterday. Right, we can go sit out there and put our feet in the grass and listen to the birds sing and just take a moment. It doesn't even have to be long, just these moments to appreciate and engage our five senses. Wow, we just noticed the fresh smell of grass in the air. You know hear like the neighborhood children laughing down the street, and that's just getting us present. And there's these little moments around us all the time. You know making our cup of coffee or tea in the morning, noticing the steam rising up. You just like noticing our kids smile. You know, just these little moments. And the more we can practice being present in any moment, the better quality we're going to have in all of our relationships. You know, just taking time, yeah.
Speaker 2:To be present with each other. And I love what you said about the five senses as well. I think that's a really great tool to use. If you're, you know, kind of maybe new to this and you're not really sure, well, you know, how do I practice awareness, like, how does that start, where does that come from? I think the five senses, as you mentioned, is a really good way to kind of almost a question you can ask yourself in the moment to cultivate presence, to cultivate, you know, more awareness, just you know, what do I see, what do I hear, what do you know? More awareness, just you know, what do I see, what do I hear, what do I feel, what do I smell, etc. Etc. And that even just dropping in and going through those five sentences, um, five senses, sorry, I'm going to, you know, probably take up, you know, a good minute or two, which, if you're being quite still like two minutes, is kind of a long time to be still for.
Speaker 1:So really true, really true. And that's one of the games. If you don't want to do it in a still version, one of the games in the book is three, two, one freeze, and what you do is you either can do a dance party version, which I know you like, or you can just do walking or whatever, and then someone's it and they would say three, two, one freeze, and everyone pauses and then they would call out the site like the sense. So they might say you know, see, and then everybody will go through and say something that they see, and then they would call out the site like the sense. So they might say you know, see, and then everybody will go through and say something that they see. And then you go back into dancing or moving to get your wiggles out or whatever, and then someone the next player would say freeze, and then they would say smell, and then we'd all say what we smell, and so it's like a.
Speaker 1:It's a way to make it more fun, especially for kids and even for yourself, because sometimes we don't want to just be like oh, like clinical with it. No, what do I smell, what do I see? That's fine, sometimes too right, but if it's like match your own personality. Are you silly and you playful, or are you more serious? You know that's what's so cool about play. It's unique to everyone, right? Like some people I know absolutely love making spreadsheets and they're like yes, and other people like spreadsheets that and they're like yes, and other people are like spreadsheets. That is not play. So, finding what is your way, and then you know, boosting inside of your own skill and your own towards your own inclination.
Speaker 2:Love that we talked a little bit earlier too about leadership and helping kids develop their leadership. I'd love if you could just maybe throw out like a few of the games that pop you know to the front of your mind that you have in the book that you know are cultivating leadership. Some of the activities and games in there that kids are engaging in that are leadership focused, I guess.
Speaker 1:Okay, leadership focus. Well, the thing that starts out the most is that how you play all of the games is the opportunity to let them lead. So let me take a peek, because I'm not sure which one is dropping off the head for me, off the top of my head.
Speaker 1:But, okay, this one. Okay, I'm like, okay, there's a lot of games, so one that's that steps up to me is beach day buckets. So this one is, you know, like everyone has like the bucket list, right? So it's like yeah, when you go to the beach, you're bringing your bucket, you're bringing your pail, like you're. You know my kids. How many times have they ran a water to the shore, dumping the water up?
Speaker 1:Well, it's a great opportunity to teach them about the important things in life, right? So the whole, you know the big rock theory. You got to put your big rocks in first, then your little rocks and then the sand. So if you introduce this game to them, you can give them a chance to be the leaders in creating their own life. What's the most important to you, right? And this is an opportunity when you ask kids that they're going to be like, wow, that's cool. My mom wants to know what's important to me, just, instead of like just trailing them around all the time. You know, ok, this is important. So then they can start making their rocks and you can do it as a game. You can get rocks, you can.
Speaker 1:We also use bouncy balls, like, if anyone around I know they have collections of balls. You know, we have, like big basketballs, the little medium balls, the tiny little puff balls and, you know, a little bouncy. We had a bouncy ball collection for a while. I think it's we still have it. But you know, this is just a way to empower your kids to find what's important to them, for them to actually take time to think about crafting intentional life rather than just doing what's told to them. They can think about what's important to them. You can think about it as a family, what's important to us as a family. And then suddenly, when you're like this is what we want to do and they're like, I don't want to do that, you're like, remember, but that's one of our big rocks and anyway, so it's just. You know, it's just a way to create it together.
Speaker 1:Let me see what else stands out to me. Well, I mean, okay, there's another one, reading in a fort. You would not think that reading in a fort would necessarily be an opportunity for leadership, right, but when you build the fort engineering thing, it's like what's going to happen? How are you going to like, instead of me building the fort, letting them get in there and be like no, I see that that book is like never gonna hold up that blanket. But I'm just like, oh, okay, let's see what happens, right, and letting them lead, so that they are like, oh, shoot, once I crawled in my foot, hit the blanket and to pull the whole thing down. And so then they get a chance to lead the show, to sort it out on their own or to work together. And especially if you have multiple kids or you have, you don't have to be all your kids. Keep your neighbor, friends, the kids when you play. They have this opportunity of this back and forth.
Speaker 1:How do we make up the rules? How do we set this up? They have to learn those communication skills in a way where they're being a leader but they're also getting their point across, so they're not being like a you know bulldog, like we're doing it my way, like they're doing it in a way that the game goes on yeah, if one kid is like, the other kid's like no, then the game's over, the play is done and so that's. Another really beautiful piece of play is teaching these social emotional skills to kids in a way where they have a joint reason to keep it going because they want to keep playing yeah, like just and that's becoming, you know, really like becoming problem solvers as well, either like individually, but then also kind of together, like collaborating together to come up with a solution.
Speaker 2:To like oh, how can we make the fort stronger so it doesn't fall down?
Speaker 1:Yeah, right, right. And that's the thing that's so fun is because in these scenarios of these games, they're not these important things in life, they're just silly forts. If it falls down, fine, there's no real repercussions. You know, maybe you get hit with a book or whatever you know. But that's important because then they can test it out in these smaller, safer venues so that as they grow up and they go through more challenging bits, they have tested it, they've learned how to assert themselves in a way where they honor the people around them, and if they don't, then they learn oh, that didn't work out so well. You know I need to apologize to them, or how can I, you know, make it all work?
Speaker 2:Yeah, and that's so important we did kind of mention that before too about practicing these skills in a time of calm or when it's, you know, there's no big emotions involved and, like I said we did, we did mention it before, but I'd like to bring it up again because I do feel like it's really important and it's one of those things that it does drive home the more you hear about it and I did have a question written around this as well.
Speaker 2:It and I did have a question written around this as well, and I was like, oh, we kind of answered this question already, but I think it's important to talk about it again. There's a near the end of the book. There's a section about cultivating mindfulness, and you share 10 examples in there and somewhat of a list format with, like larger descriptions after each one, and you describe the importance of practicing mindfulness in times of calm, which is what we're talking about. So I'd love for you to explain that a little bit more, I guess, and really how it kind of just drives home again that you know that this is how we cultivate emotional intelligence skills, and maybe you have some examples with your own boys in there.
Speaker 1:Yeah, well, back to my experience as a tennis coach.
Speaker 1:You know, when I'm on the court and I'm working with kids or students of any age, you're not going to be like, okay, guys, you know what we're going to work on.
Speaker 1:A slice serve, here's the slice serve, go out and play your match with that. You're like, boom, here's how you do it. First, I have to teach the fundamentals, right, like here's the grip that you're going to use, here's. So you're going to talk about the details. You're going to teach the baseline, fundamental skills. But then you're going to practice it. So then I'm going to, you know, in that case I was going to say feet. I'm going to, like, throw them a ball. They're going to hit buckets of serves. Then they were going to, you know, play out a point where they're going to serve it. We're going to play it out, you know. So we're going to test it, we're going to practice it, we're going to build the confidence. You know we call it muscle memory. It's the same thing with these intelligence. You know, these emotional intelligence skills. We have to put it into our habits. We have to put it into our aka muscle memory, because then we're going to call on it. If we just do it once in a while and when times are crazy, you're not going to be like, you're not going to go to that. It's not something that you've had all this experience with, and so that's where, to me, where play was so crucial.
Speaker 1:What I learned early on as a coach is that when I did it in these fun games with students, they were begging me for more. Like, for example, this game when I was in high school, I was a high school tennis coach. I was teaching these kids in the neighborhood, right, and we were playing these games we made up. They're called ketchup and mustard, so they're running forehand, three running forehand. If the kids make it, everyone yells ketchup. If they miss it, everyone yells mustard. It's running forehand, running backhand. They loved it. They begged me to play ketchup mustard and I was like what are you like? I was like okay. No, I was like okay, so no problem, because you guys, we're gonna do this anyway. This is like 101 basic in learning tennis. But they loved it and so I've taken that into my whole life.
Speaker 1:It's like when you do something that's so fun, you just want to do it, you just want to keep going. So it's like, how can we teach these important skills to ourselves and to our children, to our employees, you, you know, to important people, in a way that's fun, that we want to keep going. And so that's where making the practice fun, that's where, instead of making it so serious, like, okay, now we're going to practice breathing, unless that's what works for them, right, like I'm a silly, moving, energetic kind of person, so I like to make it playful and you know, like that. And so you know, look at your target audience, look at your kids, look at your employees, like what's going to land for them, what's what's going to resonate, what's appropriate for the situation? Right, if it's a work setting, you know I have different activities that I do with corporate, at corporate events, than I do, necessarily, with kids, although I do a lot of crossover, because adults we still want to play and we still want to have fun, yeah.
Speaker 1:And so you know, building these skills, doing it in a way that's fun, but doing it when we're calm, that we can, we can call on it in the big match.
Speaker 1:So the big match is those times of stress when you know, like I said, my son's sitting there. He can't. You know, his, his big brother was like the top runner at the school for the last two years and he was. I want to do well like my brother, and so he's pulling out his breathing techniques, you know, he's pulling out these different pieces and that's where having, you know, lots of options is useful and doing it when you're calm. So then you're like, okay, right, like practicing it before bed. You know, like setting a time and space in your regular routine where you, where you do it, like maybe you do mindful Mondays, right, like where you, every Monday, I, while you're cooking dinner, you go over a thing with your kid, you know, or then then you invite them to make up one, so it's not just you telling it to them all the time. What would be cool thing that you like, how would you like to create one, you know, and you just get them, you get them involved in it perfect.
Speaker 2:And how old are your boys again, are you?
Speaker 1:yeah, so I've got a 9 and 12 year old at this point. Yeah, so I was making that that was back in 2020, so that now it's 2024. So that was they were both four years younger back then, so okay, so it really does to see it work for them from all the ages right, because, let's see, adam was nine five he was five, right, so that's good.
Speaker 2:Then there's like quite a wide bracket there of like, basically you know, when they're starting school age all the way up into adolescence, like all of these, um, the games that you've outlined in the book actually do kind of work for all of those ages as well.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, it's been really cool too because my book, like I mentioned, now that it's been out, I've been hearing stories of people using it and I heard from a family psychologist in England who's been, who found my book and she's been using it with her patients and her clients, you know, for families, and they're playing the book, they're playing the game during her, you know, during her sessions and they're bringing it home and doing it and so that's like, ah, like I just love it. You know, I'm like that's why I designed it, to make it this playful connection where you're, you know you're getting, so you're filling so many of your buckets at the same time, you know, and you're not making anything wrong. It's like, okay, yeah, this is a challenge, but that's great. Life can be challenging. What can we use? How can we do this?
Speaker 2:let's, we can do this together, you know, and just making it playful and making it just fun such an incredible tool and I just literally my heart is filled as well just hearing you share that like it's made it all the way overseas and it's helping families over there, like I know what it's like to create something and to have it appreciated and adored and used in its, you know, for its intended purpose by all these other people that, like you, never even expected it to I mean you, you didn't write that book like oh, I hope one day, like people in the UK will get that Like no, that wasn't on your mind, right? It was like I was just posting these games.
Speaker 1:My friends were like, yeah, what, what are all these games you're posting? Like I don't know. I just really feel like I want to make a difference for people. And then people are playing along, right, like even people that didn't have kids or their kids were long grown. Right, like there's this one game, marble Mania Madness, where you take all your marbles and you just put them on your coffee table, let's say, and then you try to like, keep the marbles on the table, don't let the marbles fall out, and then you can incorporate counting and you can make it.
Speaker 1:You know, the kids can totally make up their own rules, but like my, my mom's cousin and her husband were, you know, playing along and they were loving it. And so, like I'm hearing all these stories, you know, even now my friends who don't have kids but they're playing with their elderly parents, they're playing the games with their aging parents, and just, you know, hearing these stories of how it's being used is so cool. Stories of how it's being used, it's so cool. And even like kids will open up the book and their parents won't be with them necessarily, because it gets played together.
Speaker 1:It can be kids playing with other kids, you know, and now that summer is fast approaching is like, okay, you know, grab this book and then the kids can just flip through it and then suddenly they're can entertain themselves with with the other kids. And you know, I created it during COVID when we didn't want to go out and buy material, so I created all the games with stuff that you have at home, anyway, it's not like you have a big cleanup, you don't have a lot, you don't have to go buy all this fancy stuff, you don't have a big.
Speaker 1:You know, and I'm like this, I'm just I don't know, it's good, I'm just. Sometimes I just I'm so I guess I'm in awe and so thankful of it. And I guess it's an invitation for everyone listening who's like you know, has this idea on their heart or this thing on their mind that they wanted to do, and they're like why? Like I didn't know why I wanted to do that. I just, oh, I did. I knew I wanted to serve the family stuck at home but, I, didn't know what it was going to turn into.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so you know, people listening. If you're like, oh, I had this idea for a podcast, I have this idea for a garden club in my community, I really love doing it. Like I invite you to really think about starting it right. Take one small step. How could you get started with that? And how that opens you up and lights you up and have you share your gift with other people, and so I just I love that, I love helping people with that, and so if anyone wants to you know is interested in that, you know reach out, because you know we always have these special, unique gifts and when we share it, we get to show up fully as ourselves and you never know what what's going to open up.
Speaker 2:I love that. That's such a good. Yeah, just like awareness around that and just advice to anyone, because I feel like that happens a lot, where we have these ideas drop in that get us really excited in the moment, and then something takes our attention in this way and then it just kind of gets left by the wayside. But perfect example of you know, if you just follow through and actually make it happen, it can actually become something beyond what you ever believed it could have been and be so impactful and helpful to others.
Speaker 1:So, yes, I you just I, you just don't know. You don't know it's like I thought, oh, I'm going to self publish. You know I don't. I, you know, I'm just getting started and you know, this whole traditional publishing deal came through and you know, things just open up, you know, and so it's just really magical and exciting and you know when you're really coming from the greater good and sharing your gifts and you know being of service and oh, I don't know, this is so exciting. And that's why I just love this and I love that you're dedicating this podcast to sharing these ideas and opening up these conversations, because I believe emotional intelligence and emotional regulation is some of our biggest superpowers. You know, my kids even wrote me two Christmases ago. They wrote me my my present was. They wrote me a story about like your breath is your superpower and they like wrote this story for me. It was I gotta pull it out and read it. It was like, oh my gosh, you know it's just so sweet.
Speaker 2:That's beautiful. I love that so much. There was one more thing I wanted to ask, um, and then I think it's a great place to wrap up. This has been such a powerful conversation and I just love your energy. I love your motivation, your awareness and just your mission to help people with this. It's so inspiring. So thank you for coming on the show.
Speaker 2:In the book you outline, near the end again, learning points, so really really basic things, but they're really really important, like keeping it simple, you know, in terms of the games themselves. So keeping it simple, letting them lead, as we've mentioned a few times. Also reiterating, like what's new is fun, so getting involved in trying new things a lot, and the importance of healthy habit forming, and you did mention to me in a prior conversation as well how the habit of playing and posting a new game every day made a huge difference for you and your family. And so just for those out there listening that are thinking of grabbing the book and wondering you know, what kind of impact is this really going to have on me and my family if they're not sold yet? Based on everything we've already discussed, I just love you to share you know what that big difference was for you guys.
Speaker 1:Yeah, well, you know life is busy. There's a million things going on. There's so many fun things we have access to, like every piece of information at our fingertips, and there's a lot of choice that we have. And so environmental design and what we have going on in our regular habits, our regular day, our structure of our day, makes a huge difference. So when we were playing a game, I had to post the game each day, monday through Friday. It gave me this structure Okay, that's what we're gonna do, this we're gonna do, and so I'm not suggesting you create your own game every day.
Speaker 1:But for people listening, you know, whether or not you use my book is just making a time of day of, like connection time or play time, right. So you want to look at your schedule and think when does that fit in most naturally? When is that easiest? You know like it might be when the kids get home from school, or maybe they need a break. Then maybe it's right after dinner, or you know you ought to look at your own calendar and see what works the best for you and then just make it as a habit. So it'd be.
Speaker 1:You know, after I clean up the last dish, then I sit on the couch and we hang out and play, or you know, like, build it in as a structure and then start really small, even if it's just like we. I sit down on the couch and I leave my phone over there and we connect for one minute and then you celebrate yeah, I did it. Woo, you give yourself a pat on the back and you know, and you, because what happens? A lot of times we have these grand ideas like I'm going to connect and you know, or I'm going to work out for an hour tomorrow and we haven't been working out, and it's like, okay, start with 10 minutes or start with something small, five minutes, like right, like do five jumping jacks, I did it. And then when we're like rewarding ourselves, we're happy with what we're doing, we're more likely to come back to it, and so you want to build that habit loop, right, you want to make it so. And then you can maybe put something in your space, like, let's say, you're going to do it after dinner, maybe you take a board game and you place it on your kitchen island or your kitchen table or something. So that's right there. It's like, okay, that's going to remind you, remind you, oh, that's there for us to play the game. So you want to set it up in a way that's so easy for you to win, you know, or like something like that.
Speaker 1:So I would say, start small five minutes of connection time. You know, look for yourself, you can always start with five minutes and go up, because sometimes if you start with five minutes it might just naturally overflow because you guys are having fun, and if you're not having having fun, that's fine. Try something new the next time. You know, like sometimes you do things that you think will be fun and they're not in the moment, but then later they're hilarious. You have a memory of that, right. You're like remember that time we did that and it was terrible. But then you laugh about it and like it becomes this whole memory.
Speaker 1:Remember when we tried to like one of the games is making your own puzzle. If we did so many puzzles over COVID, but then we never made our own puzzles so we had to cut it out out of cardboard and it was kind of hard to like make the pieces fit together, and you know, and so it just becomes this whole thing and then you do a puzzle and you're like, oh, these pieces go together so easy. And then you're like, remember that time and you know, so it's just building these family stories and these connections. We could be with friends as well. But I say, you know, make a play break I like to call it a play break or set an alarm on your phone, right, like Tuesday night at 6pm, and then let the alarm go off. And you know there's a lot of tools and tricks you can use, right. So it's really about cultivating the habit of connection as opposed to the habit of playing a game every day. That is just one way to kind of create that space paw patrol forever.
Speaker 1:And I'm like, yeah, I understand, like I went through that, and so you can play that thumb with them, just like you would want them to try something new with you, right. But then find things that you both enjoy to do together. Right, and test out new things, even if you don't want to. Just like. You're like you gotta try this broccoli, you know it's your kid. You gotta be like, okay, you can try playing, I don't know daniel tiger for like the millionth hour on it, but you don't have to go for that long, you know.
Speaker 1:But it's like finding ways that things that you both are interested in. Sometimes one is and sometimes the other, and then sometimes you all do. But you know, it's that give and take. Again, it's that learning through play. How do you keep the play going right? Because if it's, if they're having fun, but you're not, technically it's not play, then you, you're just like doing your thing right Versus actually playing. When you're both engaged in something that you enjoy and you lose track of time, and that's when you're both playing together. They're both valuable, but for different ways.
Speaker 2:Yeah, absolutely Well. Thank you so much, laura, for coming on the show and talking to us all about your book. I love the work that you do. I love that you're so passionate about not just, you know developing your own emotional intelligence skills, but then finding a way to teach that to the next generation. It's so needed in this day and age, and it's been so great to connect with you. Thank you so much for coming on the show. It's been a real pleasure.
Speaker 1:Yeah well, thank you so much. I really enjoyed it and to everyone listening, you know way to invest in your own emotional intelligence and look for other tools and things that you find fun. You know it's so enjoyable. It's such a gift to ourselves this time that we invest in ourselves and you know if I could be of support, feel free to reach out. You know I love coming and speaking for companies and groups and coaching people and all the things, and it's just such a pleasure. So thank you for sharing in this fun conversation and I loved it. It was super fun.
Speaker 2:Of course, and if people do want to get their hands on, play together the book and or connect with you, what is the best way to get in touch?
Speaker 1:Yeah, well, you guys can buy my book pretty much at almost bookstores, especially on. They're all over online. There's lots of bookstores as well in person, and you can find me at my website, laurahavercom, and I would love to connect. I share all kinds of tips on being playful and present, obviously, as we talked about today. That's why I love that question, because that's one of my things so passionate about. Both, I love that question, so thank you so much for that.
Speaker 2:That's a wrap on today's episode. I am beyond grateful for your participation in today's conversation. I hope you enjoyed today's guest on the Emotions Untapped podcast. My intention is that the information shared here today has inspired you to deepen your understanding of emotional intelligence and how it can benefit your life. If you have any questions about today's episode, you can DM us on Instagram at emotionsuntapped, and check the show notes for any and all resources mentioned in today's show. You can also reach out to today's guest through the links provided. I'm Livia Lauder. See you next time on Emotions Untapped.